Dismissing concerns that “alternative facts” the new White House is pushing were propaganda, Spicer assured a room full of reporters that Trump was already the “best President ever”.

“Although Mr. Trump has never read a book, we can assure you that he knows everything about being a president and is nothing like those Third-World dictators,” Spicer said Saturday.

Spicer went on to mention that the President “has been alive for a very long time” and “understands more than any of the dishonest media”.

When asked by CNN reporter Wolf Blitzer what Mr. Trump thought of comparisons of him with 1984 dictator Big Brother, Spicer shouted Blitzer down, repeatedly telling CNN that “your news is faker than Regina George”, and stormed out of the press conference. Men lounging at the back of the press conference began to hiss at Blitzer.

Sarcastic Panda was assured that the men had no affiliation with Mr. Trump and were simply the forgotten men and women of America.